Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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