Jerry, you need to find god
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You dont lie about slip and slides
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
