I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize