Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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