I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
