she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
