He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
