I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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