I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
