Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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