Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You can't special order awesome
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
