I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
