I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
