y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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