If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Im part way to drunk.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
