your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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