Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
