The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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