420 ftw
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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