i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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