But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
