i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
