So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
