Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
