I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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