it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
