were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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