I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
