I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
