I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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