the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
