just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
