check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
