well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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