I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
is that a dick in a sweater?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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