..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
