so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize