and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
