peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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