Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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