I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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