So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My feet surprised me
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
