So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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