Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize