I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
