Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
