you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
