I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
