for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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