Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
