Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
