So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
