evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i came on her dog
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
