why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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