The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize