How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
