i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you didnt know i had herpes?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
