I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
