Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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