So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
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