question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
