Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
