Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
