So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
