If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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