I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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