take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
