if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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