A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I have post one night stand depression
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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