Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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