Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
