Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
